You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
