I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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