i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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