a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
