I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
