I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
