i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize