I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
