I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
