I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
