Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
