I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
