Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Randomize
