Where are you?
In a non slutty way
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize