So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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