Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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