On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
now i know why i became what i already was.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
