if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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