I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
handjob tips. give me some.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize