Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
