I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Use "feeling words"
Yay
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
