All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
