mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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