she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
