im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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