ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
