Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
