today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
