This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
