I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
