whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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