my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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