two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize