I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
