I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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