Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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