They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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