kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
