We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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