you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
