So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
