He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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