Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You made out with two different species that night
Alive.
So much puke
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
