i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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