Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I'm always down for nudity.
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