Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
