Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
