It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
