you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
