The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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