apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
