I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
