Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Randomize
