Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
