Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
