hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
