Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize