What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Rumble strips road head = magical
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
