all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize