She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
